change.

I was blessed to have a dear friend send me a much anticipated book that just came out by one of my favorite authors. It is called "Bittersweet" by Shauna Niequist. (If you have never heard of her please go look her up right now! She is so talented and her words hit you right to the soul.) The topic of this book could not be anymore perfect for what I am going through right now, "change, grace, and learning the hard way". And so here are a few thoughts of hers on change. and then you will find a few thoughts of mine on change after. enjoy.

"I know better than to believe that the changes are over, and I know better than to believe the next ones will be easier, but I've learned the hard way that change is God's greatest gifts and one of his most useful tools. I've learned the hard way that change can push us, pull us, rebuke and remake us. It can show us who we've become, in the worst ways, and also in the best ways. I've learned that it's not something to run away from, as though we could, and I've learned that in many cases, change is not a function of life's cruelty but instead a function of God's graciousness." - Shauna Niequist, "Bittersweet", page 20

"This is what I've come to believe about change: it's good, in the way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good, and failure is good. By that I mean that it's incredibly painful, exponentially more so if you fight it, and also that it has the potential to open you up, to open life up, to deliever you right into the palm of God's hand, which is where you wanted to be all along, except that you were too busy pushing and pulling your life into exactly what you thought it should be. So this is the work I'm doing now, and the work I invite you into: when life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow." - Shauna Niequist, "Bittersweet", page 13


Three weeks. I have been here for three weeks. In thinking about the time I have been here so far I realized that those first two weeks were the hardest because I was fighting the change that was taking place. As ready as I was to be here and to experience what God has called me to do here I was not ready at the same time. I was not ready to leave my family and friends. to leave what was familiar. to leave what was easy. But I have seen a change that has already to take place inside of me. inside of my head, my actions and words, and my heart. I am changing.
I went into this year asking the Lord to change me. to mold me and remake me to what He wants me to be. And I have already seen that transformation start to begin. slowly. but surely. And I'm not as scared as I once was. Because change gets easier with time. And it is. It is a day by day process. though, not an easy process.
But when is life easy when we are following what God has called us to do?
And I believe that is the beauty in change. God uses change to show us things. things we may not like, but things that are so good for us.

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for this year. For sending me to a place I knew very little about before coming. I like that. I like not knowing. And thank you for this change. I was scared. I was scared to do something hard and to jump. But why should I be when you have always been there for me before? You have given me your promises. And through these I have been so blessed. Continue to give me your love and strength and promises to hold onto when I am down about being in such a different place. Allow me to see this year as something so good. something from You. Amen.